Ranma, Magic, and Mazoku
by Judaphine
Summary: Ranma is transported to another world of swords and sorcery. AU. Edited the prologue, first and third chapters. Working on the fourth. On Hold.
1. Prologue

AN: Extended a bit just because. Standard disclaimers apply.

* * *

Ranma, Magic, and Mazoku

In the peaceful ward of Nerima, home of the weird, a young martial artist was sitting in a tree he had just landed in (courtesy of Akane Air), contemplating his current circumstances. 'Geez,' he thought, 'what'd I do _this_ time?' Akane had taken to using Mallet-sama more often lately with less and less cause. At this rate, he'd end up with permanent brain damage in about a month.

One would think that after living together for more than a year and after all the times he had saved her hide that she would start being a little nicer. Unfortunately, it seems that whole year was wasted. After all the trials, hardships, stupid plots, and extra fiancées, they were no better off than when they started. Some (everyone but their fathers) would argue that their relationship was in even worse shape than it was in the beginning.

As he sat there, he began to list the possible reasons for Akane's latest fit of violence. 'Lessee,' he thought, 'I ain't been pickin on P-chan. Shampoo hasn't had a chance to glomp me in a while. I ain't seen Ucchan in a coupla days. I ain't got no more fiancées. Kodachi's outta town. She ain't been allowed in the kitchen since the last disaster, so I haven't insulted her attempts at pois- er, cookin… What the hell'd she hit me for _this_ time?' It had often occurred to him, lately, that Akane was starting to hit him for no reason, thus setting the standard for their future should he marry her.

But she _did_ have a reason… in her mind anyway. Lately, he had been trying to get along with her. In doing so, he had endeared himself to the general populace of Nerima. To girls, he appeared truly devoted to put so much effort into the relationship. Guys felt sorry for him for having to go the extra _hundred_ miles to make it work. Nobody felt that she deserved him.

Unfortunately, many of the comments people made eventually reached Akane's ears. Typically, she blamed him for her short-comings. When boys started actually going out of their way to avoid her, she'd assume he'd scared them off or spread rumours about her. Not that she wanted to have anything to do with them, but it was embarrassing. When girls were nice to Ranma, she'd assume he was flirting with them even though they were making thinly-veiled attempts to steal him away from her. They stopped doing that and started snubbing her instead, which she blamed on him.

What landed him in this tree today was that some of the girls at school had been eyeing him up and she'd seen it. He was oblivious to it. He always was. And he wouldn't have done anything about it if he'd noticed. But that made no difference to Mallet-sama or the girl wielding it. In her eyes, he'd been flirting with them and cheating on her. So, here he was… up in a tree, feeling depressed, and not knowing why he was there.

While he sat deep in thought, ominous black clouds began to swiftly gather overhead. Ranma looked up at the sudden rumble of thunder and was about to move from his perch to avoid the imminent rain, when a flash of lightning struck him. After the smoke cleared, all was silent, the sky was clear, and the only evidence that anything had happened was the charred tree branch where our young hero had once sat.


	2. Chapter 1

AN: Edited just because some readers are too annoyingly particular. Not a big change, but it was noticed anyway by someone who was looking for something to criticise.

* * *

"What have you done, Lina-san?" asked a shocked Amelia. The short-tempered sorceress had just tried out a new spell and everyone was standing around, stunned, staring at the results. In the midst of the group lay a tattered and unconscious pigtailed boy, who was slightly charred around the edges.

"I-I don't know," said Lina. "The spell was supposed to summon a symbol of chaos. I thought it would be a rune or an artefact, not a person."

"Admit it, Lina-san," said Amelia, "you just hit an innocent bystander with a spell."

"Gee, Lina," said Goury, "I feel sorry for the guy. Couldn't you have looked before casting that one?"

"He wasn't there when I cast the spell!!"

"She's right," Zelgadis and Xellos chimed, looking slightly embarrassed at speaking in tandem (Zelgadis, anyway). Xellos picked up the line of thought. "If you look closely at his aura, you'll see that he's not of this world."

"Are you serious, Xellos-san?" asked Amelia.

"I am, indeed," he replied.

"What's more," said Zelgadis, "is that there's chaos emanating from him in waves."

"Okay," said Lina, "so I got my 'symbol of chaos'. Now where the hell did he come from?!" Lina was quickly losing it. She'd been trying to find a spell as powerful (but nowhere near as dangerous) as the Giga Slave in case any more Dark Lords decided to try to destroy the world. After dealing with Shabrinigdo, Fibrizo, and Dark Star, she had decided that it was a good idea to be prepared for the next life-or-death struggle. So far, this spell had been her best bet. So much for _that_ idea.

After thinking about her question and carefully studying the unconscious boy before him, Xellos looked at Lina and cheerfully said, "I have no idea." This caused the easily irritable sorceress and company to face-fault, painfully.

Zelgadis was the first to recover. "Whether we know where he's from or not," he said, "the fact remains that he's here now. His aura also shows a great potential for magic that needs to be trained."

"Really, Zelgadis-san?" asked the love-struck Amelia, her eyes sparkling with devotion as she gazed upon her idol. If he said it, it must be true.

"Great!" Lina said. "Now all we gotta do is wake him up."

"I'm kinda surprised that blast didn't kill him," said Goury.

"Eh-heheh, yeah." Lina carefully approached the prone figure and knelt next to him, checking his vital signs and performing a mild healing spell on him. She didn't quite expect the handsome youth to spring up so fast though.

"Huh… What… Where…" Ranma stammered, looking in all directions warily. "Where am I? What happened?"

"Umm… hi," said Lina nervously, grabbing his attention.

"Who are you?" asked Ranma, looking at her suspiciously.

"The name's Lina, Lina Inverse," she replied. "I'm kinda responsible for you being here."

"Try fully responsible, Lina-san," Amelia interjected.

"Would you butt out," Lina hissed.

"W-what happened?" Ranma asked. "How'd I get here? Where _is_ here, anyway?

"Well… you see…" Lina began, "I was kinda casting this new spell, see, and… well… next thing I knew, you showed up."

"Oookaaaaay," said Ranma. He was used to magic being used on him. After all, the amazons did it all the time. He just wasn't used to people who did it by accident. "Where am I?"

"You're about ten miles outside of Atlas City and God knows how far away from your home world," Lina said bluntly.

"I'M ON ANOTHER _PLANET_!!!" Ranma bellowed in shock.

"Umm… yep," said Lina, her ears ringing from that shout. "Sorry about that. What's your name, by the way?"

"Uh, Ranma, Ranma Saotome," he said.

"Well, Ranma, what's the last thing you remember before you got here?" Lina asked. "It might give me a clue to how to send you back."

"Uh, okay, well, my uncute fiancée got mad at me for somthin' so she hit me with Mallet-sama-"

"She did _what_?!" asked a shocked Lina, interrupting Ranma.

"Uh, she hit me with a mallet. It's no big deal, she does it all the time," said Ranma.

"That's terrible!" piped Amelia. "She sounds like a really mean person!" Amelia's justice loving heart was all fired up. Thankfully, Akane was in another world. Otherwise, she would have met (and probably smashed) the 'Hammer of Justice'.

"Uh… well…" Privately, Ranma had always thought the same thing as Amelia. This was just the first time he had ever heard anyone else say it. "A-anyway, I'd landed it a tree somewhere and was sittin' there thinkin' 'bout stuff when I looked up and saw a bunch o' black clouds over me."

'Okay,' Lina thought, 'at least the black clouds match. What kinda crazy chick hits somebody with a mallet when she's mad?' :coughDragonSlavecough:

"I was about ta run for it to get outta the rain," Ranma continued, "and all I remember after that's a bright light and pain, then everything went black."

'Well that didn't help much,' Lina thought. "Sorry, kid," she said aloud. "I really don't know what to do about this. I don't even know how I did it in the first place."

Ranma slumped down in disappointment, then asked a question of his own. "What was the spell s'posed ta do, anyway?" he said.

"It was supposed to _summon,_ and I quote, 'a symbol of chaos'," Lina said.

That stumped him for a second. He blinked and realised what might have happened. "You were hopin' for a chaos symbol and got a chaos magnet instead," he said dejectedly, hanging his head in resignation. "Typical. Why's the weird stuff always gotta happen ta me?"

'Chaos magnet?' thought Lina. 'I don't like the sound of that.'

"Well," he continued, "at least I'll get a vacation." Riiiiiight. "So, any chance I'll ever get back home?"

"Actually," said Xellos, ever the ray of sunshine, "after observing the shifts in your aura since you've been here, I can honestly say…" the assembled group waited patiently for his words of wisdom as he rubbed his chin, "it's impossible," group face-fault.

"What do ya mean by that?!" Ranma shouted.

"It's quite simple, really," Xellos explained calmly, "your aura has bound itself to this realm. Trying to send you back could have disastrous consequences."

"Great," Ranma huffed, "juuust great!"

"Well, on the plus side," Xellos continued, "you'd make an excellent sorcerer with an aura like yours. And you happen to be in the company of the best in the world."

Ranma was tempted with the offer of learning something new. He wasn't too sure about the 'sorcerer' bit, though.

"Well," said Lina, "since all this is kinda my fault, why don't you stick with us?"

"Sure, I guess," said Ranma. "It's not like I got any better ideas. Besides, nobody back home'll miss me 'til they need somethin' done or somethin' goes wrong."

Meanwhile, in a world far away, a certain group of people had begun to note the absence of a certain martial artist and thought nothing of it. After all, he'd run off before and they'd always found him. Little did they know that they would never see him again (at least, most of them wouldn't), and that his absence would leave a void in their lives that could never be filled.

"Lina," said Xellos, "I'd like to take a look at that spell, if I may. It might give us a clue to its reversal."

"Uh, sure," said Lina, handing him the ancient scroll.

Xellos read it through carefully, humming to himself as he did so. 'It seems she did everything right,' he thought. 'What could have happened?' Then he read over the purpose and warnings for the spell and a sly grin spread over his face. "It seems, Lina," he said, "you read the spell's intentions incorrectly."

"Story of my life," quipped Ranma.

"What happened?" asked Lina, a trifle insulted by the affront to her spell reading skills.

"It seems," said Xellos, "that there's a bit of a smudge on one of the runes. Passage of time and all that. The spell wasn't supposed to summon a symbol of chaos after all."

"Well, what the hell was it supposed ta do?!" asked an irate Lina. Ranma was all ears, wondering how his life got screwed up _this_ time.

"It was supposed to summon a _child_ of chaos," said Xellos cheerfully.

As one, the rest of the group turned and stared at Ranma, dumfounded. Ranma could only stare back, stunned at this revelation. 'Ch-child of chaos?' he thought. 'Great. Just great. Does this mean the rest of my life's gonna suck 'til I drop dead?'

"Well," said Amelia, "that's different."


	3. Chapter 2

AN: Well, here it is by popular demand (yes, two requests is enough for me) the second chapter. I'm working on a third, but I'm also working on a new story as well. It, too, is a crossover. I've also got a germ of an idea for another story, so don't hold your breath as far as updates are concerned. Til then, enjoy

* * *

The Slayers gang (plus Ranma) decided it would be a good idea to forget all their worries with a hearty meal. Well… Lina decided and the rest weren't about to argue. Ranma was never one to pass up free food (unless it was Akane's cooking). The Slayers gang got a bit of a shock when they placed their orders though. 

They had thought that no one could possibly eat more than Lina. They were wrong. Ranma had been told to order whatever he wanted and as much as he liked (to make up for taking him from his home). Sounds generous? Well, when Lina made that offer, she assumed he only had a normal appetite. Ranma ordered double portions of all his favourites… which happened to be nearly everything on the menu. Lina simply brushed off the expense as negligible, as she'd be stealing some of his food anyway.

When the food arrived, an all-out Martial Arts Dining battle royale ensued. Poor Goury was at the losing end of the battle. Amelia, Zelgadis and Xellos wisely decided to sit at another table to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. In the end, Ranma won what he thought was a sparring match. Let's face it, that's what eating usually was for him with _his_ father around. He avoided Lina's more harsh retaliation for food theft by simply being too fast to see. Goury ended up with a few Digger Bolts though.

Ranma was a little surprised at his own appetite. 'Guess bein' brought to another world made me hungrier than normal,' he thought. 'Wonder what _their_ excuse is.' He was watching Lina and Goury fight over the last scraps on the table. The rest of the gang, as accustomed as they were to this spectacle, were staring at Ranma.

'Oh my,' thought Amelia in a Kasumi-like manner, 'he eats more than Lina-san and Goury-san.'

'Damn,' thought Zelgadis, 'I thought Amelia was the only one who could keep up with those two.' Xellos just smirked, a little sweat-drop appearing at the side of his face.

While all else were thinking, Goury and Lina were fighting over the last meatball. Finally, when he lost, "So, where are we off to now, Lina?" asked Goury.

"Well," said Lina, "I suppose we should be looking for a way to send Ranma home."

"I'm not in any hurry," Ranma blurted. 'Geez, give me at least a little time away from that circus,' he thought. 'Hell, maybe they'll cool down a bit while I'm gone.' It wasn't very likely, but anything's possible, right? "Besides," he continued, "I'm sure everyone back home'll try ta bring me back anyway."

"They know magic where you're from?"

"Yeah, they use stuff on me all the time (group sweat-drop). It wouldn't surprise me if somebody figured out the right spell. 'Course, with my luck, they'll prolly screw it up somehow like they always do."

"In any case," said a somewhat befuddled Lina, "chances are it's impossible to send you back anyway. Unless there's a counter-spell out there, though I doubt it." 'Good thing, too,' she thought. 'The people on his world are sounding more and more like abusive wackos.'

"Why wouldn't there be a counter-spell, Lina-san?" Amelia asked.

"Generally," said Xellos before Lina could answer, "Chaos' children tend to be kami or mazoku. Many spells exist to summon them. Unfortunately, very few people have ever figured out how to send them back. And those are some very specific spells. Normally, people wait for the one they summoned to leave on their own."

"So, you mean I'm gonna be stuck here for the rest of my life!" Ranma yelled.

"Most likely," Xellos cheerfully said.

Ranma took a few moments to ponder this news. 'I'll never see my friends again,' he thought. 'No more duels. No more engagements. No more bein thrown out the window or splashed with cold water in the morning. No more Mallet-sama.' With every thought, Ranma was cheering up considerably.

'No more "Ranma, prepare to die". No more potions, poisons, wedding schemes, or rivals. No more having to hear how I'm an ungrateful, worthless, pathetic, honourless son. No more having to hear how I supposedly ruined someone else's life. No more giri.' That last one made him perk right up.

'No more of Akane's toxic cooking. No more of her tellin me ta quit pickin on P-chan. No more blackmail from Nabiki. No more jealous fiancées buggin me every five minutes. No more bein blamed for everything that happens.' By now, Ranma had a look of rapture on his face.

Suddenly, the dam burst. Ranma leapt up and started dancing around the room shouting, "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!" 'I may never see ofukuro or taste Kasumi's cooking again,' he thought, 'but I'm free!' needless to say, the others were more than a little surprised. Eventually, he calmed down and sat back in his seat.

"Geez, Ranma," said Lina. "Most people would be a little more disappointed at never being able to go home again."

"Well," he replied, "I never really had a home to begin with. My oyaji had me on a trainin trip since I was a kid. There's only two people I'm gonna miss, and he ain't one of 'em."

"But what about friends and family?" asked Amelia.

"I don't _have_ any real friends. The only one who came close was this girl who was nice to _every_body. And the only person I count as family is ofukuro, an' I barely remember her cause o' the trainin trip."

Amelia had that puppy-eyed look on her face. "Kawaii so na," she said. "You really don't have any friends, Ranma-san?"

Ranma, sensing a potentially weeping female in the vicinity, tried to make light of his situation. "It's alright. I've got plenty o' fiancées ta keep me company, and a couple o' rivals ta keep me busy."

It may have been a strange thing to say, but it worked. "Umm… fiancées? Do they practice polygamy where you come from? And aren't you a little young to get married?"

"No to the first question and yes to the second. But try tellin oyaji that. Let's just say it's a long story that I ain't gotta worry about no more." He then leaned back in his chair and got comfortable, all the activity of the day making him slightly sleepy. Just then, a waitress was passing by with glasses on a tray. She tripped and the glasses flew off the tray. The contents of the glasses hit Ranma dead on. Can you guess what was in the glasses? "Aw, crap!" yelled Ranma-chan. "Can't I go one damn day without gettin splashed!"

The rest of the group was stunned. Lina, being the boldest, reached over and poked. Then she got a little irritated. 'Even a _guy_ has bigger boobs than me,' she thought. 'Wait a minute…' "Ranma," she said, "weren't you a _guy_ just now?"

"Ah, it's a curse I picked up on my trainin trip. Every time I get splashed with cold water I turn into a girl. Hot water changes me back."

"Ranma," said Amelia, "it's mean to call turning into a girl a curse."

"It's a curse when you were born and raised a boy."

"So, does this make you a cross-dresser?" asked Goury.

"Of course it doesn't, yogurt brain!" yelled Lina, hitting him over the head. "And who are you ta talk!"

Ranma sighed at having to explain about his curse. "Listen, guys, this body is 100 female, okay? My mind is still male though, so don't get any funny ideas." Lina and Amelia, who were both thinking 'makeover', merely nodded.

"Pardon me for asking, Ranma," said Zelgadis, "but are there any more surprises we should know about?"

Ranma sighed. 'This part'll be embarassin, but they're gonna find out sooner or later,' he thought. "Umm… I'm really scared o' cats." All were shocked at that stupid sounding statement. "It's cause o' somethin stupid oyaji did to me when I was six. It'd be safest fer all o' ya if ya just kept 'em away from me."

Though they all wondered at the 'safe for all of you' part, the four humans nodded their agreement. The mazoku, however, got a glint in his barely opened eye that boded ill.

* * *

While Ranma was getting better acquainted with his new travelling companions, Nodoka Saotome was celebrating the simple solution she had found to all her child's problems. In essence, send him to another world. Unbeknownst to anyone in Nerima (or the rest of the universe, for that matter), Nodoka Saotome was really the embodiment of chaos, Demon Beast Zanifaar, the Lord of Nightmares and mother of all things. You couldn't tell by looking at her though. She had spent nearly twenty years on this worl on what had started out as a vacation. She met Genma though, and saw some sort of potential in him (for what, we can only guess). The rest is history. A history she was neither proud nor part of. 

She let Genma take their son on that training trip because she honestly thought it would be a good male bonding experience, having no idea it would last so long. She found the stupid contract the next morning. Genma had run off on the trip with her son without even letting her say goodbye. She soon found out why he was in such a hurry. That same day, dozens of creditors came knocking at her door. It was a good thing she had a little pile of gold that she had gradually converted and stored in a secret bank account. Even that small fortune she had stored was wasted away to almost nothing by the time they were done. Covering their debts for the rest of the training trip took care of the last of it and required her to convert even more gold, though the Kuonjis were more than a little stubborn regarding the yattai. They simply refused to accept that the debt was paid, and hounded Ranma to this day.

As for Nodoka, when she finally tracked down her wandering family, she found that she had a skittish and bedevilled son with a curse on him who was hounded by Genma's mistakes and terrified of his own mother. And he didn't even know the truth of her identity. To think that fat fool Genma actually believed she'd let her son take the fall for him. Then again, it was for that exact reason that Ranma had so many problems to begin with. It seemed that everyone else took the 'sins of the father' approach instead of making Genma take responsibility for his own stupidity.

But Nodoka, as Zanifaar, had taken the first step to fixing the mess she caused by giving her only _true_ son to Genma all those years ago. She had removed her child from the hellish environment he had existed in this past year or more and placed him in the care of those best able to understand him and help him heal.

* * *

"Hey, Ranma," said Xellos innocently (or as innocently as he could), "you mean you're actually afraid of something as small as a little housecat?" 

"Uh… yeah, that's righ-" At that moment, Ranma had turned to face the mazoku and saw him holding something in his arms. It opened its mouth and said "Miaow".

"YAAAAHHHHH!" As soon as Ranma screamed, Xellos tossed the cat at her. "YAAHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" She ran around screaming for a good five minutes until… "YAAAARWL!" she snarled. "HHSSS!"

"Umm…" said Amelia, "what's happening to Ranma-san?"

"Who knows," said Lina. "I've never seen anything like it before."

Ranma was crouched down, glaring and snarling at Xellos. Suddenly, she attacked him. Being a mazoku, he thought nothing of it… until he felt her ki claws. It was mildly serious, an annoyed Ranma teaching a foolish Xellos a lesson. First his clothes were shredded, then his staff when he tried to block. Ranma had just started to show him who was boss with a light mauling… but then…

"Ara?" …_she_ walked in with that sweet, calming voice. Ranma dashed over and leapt at her, the others terrified for her safety. Neko-Ranma tackled her and… landed in her lap (insert group face-fault here). There she stayed, purring contentedly.

"Lina-san," the girl said, "what have you done to this poor person?"

"It wasn't _me,_ Sylphiel!" yelled Lina. "It was that scratching post over there who got the bright idea to throw a cat at her! And what the heck are you doing here, anyway?"

"Oh, I was trying to find Goury-kun and heard you were in this town. I just naturally followed the screams."

Lina couldn't help but sweat-drop at that last part while Sylphiel petted a happily purring Ranma. "Uh… right. Anyway, why were you looking for Goury?"

"Well, he _is_ my dear friend and it's been a while since I've seen him. Umm… could someone get this person off me? She's heavy."

"Huh?" said Goury. "Oh, sure, Sylphiel." Goury walked over and picked Ranma up with little more than a 'mraow' in protest. Although he didn't think she was _that _heavy, he found that she was heavier than she looked. He put her on the floor, only to have to catch her in mid-leap when she tried to pounce on Sylphiel again.

"Awww," said Amelia with hearts in her eyes, "he's just like a big kitty! Kawaii! I think he likes Sylphiel-san."

"I think so, too," said Lina. "Maybe this weird behaviour is a side affect from whatever his dad did to him."

"Ano," said Sylphiel, "excuse me, but, why are you referring to this girl as if she were a boy?" she walked over to where Goury was holding Ranma under one arm and gently patted her on the head.

"Well," said a clothed and healed (though badly shaken) Xellos, "Ranma has a curse other than what you just saw."

"A curse?"

"Believe it or not," said Zelgadis, "that's a boy that turns into a girl when hit by cold water."

"Really?"

"It's probably best if we showed you," said Xellos. He then took a kettle of hot water that appeared out of nowhere and, very carefully approaching a snarling Ranma, poured it over her head, effectively snapping him out of the Neko-ken.

"Huh?" said Ranma, noticing his odd position. "What happened?"

Goury had just learned something new during that transformation. 'He's even heavier as a guy,' he thought as he dropped him.

"That's what _we'd _like to know," said Zelgadis. "One minute you were running around, screaming your head off, the next you were acting like a cat."

Ranma sighed in frustration and picked himself up off the ground. "It's called the Neko-ken," he said tiredly. "It's an unbeatable for of martial arts that the fighter has to go crazy to use and the trainer has to be completely stupid to teach." He then went on to explain the training and all its known side effects. The group at large recognised the fact that it was a miracle that Ranma was alive and relatively sane after that torture. They were also wishing they had access to a certain fool to beat some sense into. Somewhere in the universe, a fat panda sneezed.

* * *

In a hidden chamber beneath the Neko Hanten, an old woman was deep in meditation, searching desperately for a life-force that had left this world, according to her senses, but not the mortal plane. She could find nothing but the faint traces of magic where he had last been. She had been searching since she felt him vanish, but still found nothing. Suddenly, the door burst open.

"Hibachan, Airen is…"

"Yes, I know, child. We must tell the others."

"Why tell, Hibachan?"

"Though it may be unlikely, they might just be of some assistance in bringing him back. Besides, his mother must be told at least."

"Hai, Hibachan."

The two, young and old, dashed off to a certain dojo to be the bearers of bad news and to rally the remaining members of the NWC. A third was also headed there, knowing that the old woman would have sensed her child's disappearance and wanting to see just how they would plan to retrieve him. All attempts would be futile, she would see to that. But it was best to be prepared.

* * *

AN: Well, there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Please be sure to review. You're more likely to get an update that way. 


	4. Chapter 3

AN: Finally got around to making this longer. I bet you thought I forgot about it.

* * *

Chapter 3

As soon as Kho Lon and Xian Pu reached the Tendo dojo, they called for everyone present to gather in the living room. Nodoka arrived immediately after them and sat next to her husband. As soon as everyone was seated, Kho Lon launched into her bad news. "Ranma has disappeared," she said.

"So, what else is new?" said Nabiki. "He wanders off for training all the time. Plus, Akane's always hitting him into the next ward."

"He deserves it for being such a pervert!!" yelled the mallet-happy girl. "He's probably with one of his hussies again!"

"WAAHH!! Now the schools will never be joined!" cried fountain-san (Soun).

"So that dishonourable boy has run out on his responsibilities," said Genma. "Oh why was I cursed with such a worthless son?"

"But, husband," said Nodoka, "I think it's quite manly of our son to take his training so seriously." No one noticed the humour in her eyes.

"Ara," said Kasumi, "I hope he comes home in time for dinner."

"I fear this is more than just a training trip," Kho Lon continued. "I believe that Ranma has left this world."

"Come again?" said Nabiki.

"I cannot sense his life force anywhere. Normally, that would mean he was dead…"

"WHAT!?!" yelled the room at large with an "Ara" from you-know-who.

"Calm down. I said that would normally be the case. However, in this case, not even the trace energies you would sense from a dead body are present."

"Any idea where he went?" asked the ever pragmatic Nabiki.

"None. And my only clue is a charred tree on the school grounds. That was where his ki signature disappeared. It's covered in chaos magic, which means he either cast a spell that backfired…"

"Possible, considering how desperate he is to get rid of the curse," Nabiki interjected.

"Or someone cast a spell on him to get rid of him."

"Also possible, considering how many enemies he has."

Then Xian Pu, who had been silently listening to her elder, spoke up. "Hibachan," she said, "Xian Pu see whole thing when try to get to Airen. It not spell."

"What do you mean, child? There was chaos magic all over that tree."

"No one there to cast spell. Xian Pu look after Airen vanish. And Airen no have time to do own spell."

"Well," said Nabiki, "What happened?"

"Kitchen destroyer mad at Airen again and hit. Xian Pu follow Airen. Airen land in tree. Clouds form over tree and lightening strike Airen. Then Airen gone and tree burnt."

"I see," said Kho Lon. "It is possible that someone at the other end of Mukudo's journey cast a spell wrong. With his luck, I wouldn't rule it out."

"Well, good riddance," said Akane. "He was nothing but a stupid pervert anyway."

"Excuse me," said Nodoka, "but _some _of us will miss him." If looks could kill, Akane would be twitching on the floor from the glare Nodoka was sending her way. As it was, she simply fumed in silence. She had forgotten Ranma's mother was there when faced with the presence of the amazons.

Nodoka, for her part, was doing some fuming of her own. 'I can't believe they expected my child to marry this brat,' she thought. She had rejected the idea of having Akane for a daughter-in-law from the very beginning. As to why she never openly objected, well… it was a mother's prerogative to tease her child. That was why she never let on that she knew about his curse all along. After all, being who and what she was, how could she _not_ know?

"What do we do to bring the boy back, old woman?" Genma asked.

"The only thing we can do is try to trace the magic and reverse it. Otherwise, we will have to enlist the aid of Ryoga and hope for the best."

"Ryoga?" asked Nabiki. "What can _he_ do to help?"

"Haven't you ever wondered how that boy can get so lost so quickly?" The whole group nodded. "I believe the boy has the ability to travel through time and space."

'Being a minor mazoku might have something to do with that,' thought Nodoka. 'Pity he's too young to figure it out.'

"If so," Kho Lon continued, "he can find Ranma, wherever he is, and bring him back… eventually."

"Ara," said Kasumi, "it must be fun to be able to travel so easily." Cue the group sweat-drop.

"O-okay," said Nabiki into the silence, "I think our best bet is to ask Ryoga to find him. Chances are a spell would backfire like they always do when it comes to Ranma."

'Oh, drat,' thought L-sama (Nodoka), 'why couldn't they go with the spell? It would have been so much fun.'

"True, child," said Kho Lon. "But how do we find the boy?"

"Oh, he usually shows up about once a week to play with Ranma," said Kasumi (insert group sweat-drop here).

'Sure,' thought Nabiki, 'if you consider trying to kill somebody "playing".' "He also drops by to visit somebody he has a crush on," she said aloud, staring straight at an oblivious Akane.

"Really?" asked the girl in question. "Who?" This, of course, caused a group face-fault.

"So," said Kho Lon after she recovered, "all we need to do is wait for him to show up, then ask him for assistance."

"We'll have to offer him something though," Nabiki said. "Let's not forget, Ryoga's one of the people who'd be _happy_ Ranma's gone."

The two fools had only listened up to the part when there was a possible solution. "Hear that, Saotome-kun?" said Soun.

"Sure did, Tendo-kun," Genma replied. Until now, he had been contemplating the loss of his meal ticket.

Together they cried, "The boy will return!! The schools will be joined!!"

'So, they think they've found a loop-hole, do they,' thought Nodoka. 'Never in a million years will I allow them to get their grubby hands on my baby again. The Hibiki boy will provide some entertainment though.' She nodded at the group, stood up to say her good-byes and (false) thank-yous, and left. 'It is time I went back home,' she thought. 'Twenty years is more than enough of a vacation.'

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The Slayers Gang had been travelling with Ranma in tow for a solid week. So far, they had begun to notice a steady rise in random weirdness and attacks form minor mazoku. Normally, they would assume that Lina had pissed off some Dark Lord or other or that she posed a threat to somebody. That assumption was binned when they realised that most of their new problems were aimed at Ranma. The golems weren't much of a problem. After all, he _did_ pick up the Bakusai Tenketsu after a while. The trolls were a pain in the ass though.

His magic training started immediately… well, after a bit of protest on his part. But, in the end, he figured that it couldn't be much different from using chi… and it wasn't. The rest of the group was stunned when he made a fireball without an incantation, and downright peeved when he learned how to make a decent flare arrow after three tries. By the time they got through a large number of the minor spells, they began to dismiss it as raw talent. After all, if Lina can learn the Ragna Blade after one (incomplete) read, why can't someone learn magic's baby steps with as little effort?

At the moment, they were approaching their first stop in their quest to send Ranma home. "Here we are," said Lina, "the city of Danjodokenron. This place supposedly has hundreds of powerful scrolls in its libraries. The only problem is…" she slyly eyed the males in the group, "like Femile, no boys allowed," she finished with a grin. "Well, not in the temples and libraries, anyway."

"Well," said Ranma, "since I can't read yer language, I'll just wait here."

Goury, with a resigned look on his face, turned to Ranma and said, "You won't get out of it that easy, Ranma. Hell, she's gonna dress me, Zelgadis and Xellos up and we can't even turn into girls."

"Ye're kiddin," Ranma replied only to turn and see Amelia and Lina holding a bucket of cold water and a bunch of frilly dresses. Where they got them from is anyone's guess. A quick change later and we see Ranma-chan wearing the absolutely cutest, girliest dress imaginable with her hair done in two ponytails and full makeup, Goury in another frilly concoction with a hair ribbon, Zelgadis tarted up like the last time and an unsurprisingly unbothered Xellos in an elegant number.

"Now look," said Ranma to the two girls with the 'that's so cute' puppy-eyed expression on their faces, one hand clenched into a fist while a vein popped out on his forehead, "I already said I can't read the stupid scrolls. So… WHY THE HELL DO I HAFTA WEAR THIS GET-UP!!"

"Please, calm down, Ranma-san," said Amelia.

"Think about it, Ranma," said Lina. What would you do if you got splashed with cold water in the middle of a crowd? This way, you're already a girl."

Another vein joined the first one on Ranma's brow. When next spoke tensely, words measured evenly… through gritted teeth, "It'd be even worse if I got splashed with hot water, as I probably will, WEARIN A DRESS!!!"

Lina and Amelia blink-blinked at that. Then Lina, finger to her chin in thought, remarked, "Huh, didn't think about that." Ranma hits the ground face-first. And so, after that bit of nonsense was over, they formulated a plan in which Ranma, in girl form yet comfortably dressed, would ask for info on specific types of spells and report what he'd learned to the rest of the group, while the rest would search through the libraries and temples, the men suitably disguised. Their search turned up many scrolls on the subject and they handed them all to Xellos to study. Being the monster of the group, he was the one most likely to know if what they found would be useful.

He searched through the pile, putting every one he'd read to the side without saying anything. Finally, he came to the end. "Well, Ranma," he said, "it seems the only way to send you home is…" dramatic pause, "non-existent," group face-fault.

"Aw, man," Ranma whined. "That's not fair! Why can't I go back?"

"Because I will not allow it," replied a familiar, yet unexpected, voice.

Ranma whirled around to see… "Mom?!"

"Hello, my child."


	5. Author's Note

This quick note is just to let my readers know that, yes, I am still alive. After years of working myself into the ground for minimum wage at a soul-sucking company, piles of stress, a mountain of what is commonly known as writers' block, too many plot bunnies and half-written stories to count and the loss of my mum I've decided to try my hand at writing again. Had a read of this to determine if the last chapter was a good stopping point or to soldier on with the little bit of the next chapter I've got. It actually _is _a good place to stop, but I'll try to push on. What I have of the next chapter features hints at the arrival of a character famous for going "Ohhh-ho-ho-ho!" Guess who.

Thank you for reading. Wish me luck! If I can sort all the plot bunnies and finish the half-written, I may be able to finish this and present you with _Dethmagic, Ranma Potter, Konoha no Ranma_, and a few untitled stories starring Harry Potter and/or Naruto featuring _Little Britain, World of Warcraft _and _Avatar _characters. Bear in mind that my main stumbling block when writing is fear of slipping into too many clichés, which causes me to stop and eventually forget about the story for... well, years it seems.

Again, Thanks for reading, and watch this space. :)


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